#4

Here we go, another blog post that makes absolutely no sense, but kind of does, courtesy of a recent conversation I had.

 

I apparently (according to some family and friends of mine) am a bit of a (ahem) mean person. Sure I’ll admit, I do tend to be quite frank with people, but am I really mean? Well I guess those on the outside would have to be the judge of that.

I do understand where their opinion came from by the way.  Apart from my apparently evil eyes, which somehow make me look like an angry bitch all the time (I swear it’s my normal thinking face haha), there have been many instances in which I may have, or well definitely have said things that can be considered as insensitive. I do realise how insensitive I sound afterwards, especially with the look I get from my sister (that “just shut up” look).

 

Honestly, most of these times I’m voicing my opinion and just being quite frank and honest. And that is where I mess up I guess. But then again, I also find myself saying things because I believe that person or those people need to hear it. Is that mean? Well yes I guess it can be, especially if that ends up hurting others. I was told that even if something is true, you shouldn’t say or mention anything if you know it will hurt their feelings.

Yeah well, you can guess what I did now, can’t you?

I do try to be nice, however, stubborn as I am, if I feel something should be said and that it needs to be heard, then rest assure I will speak my mind. I have however learnt to hold my tongue in certain situations because well sometimes, it’s just better not to escalate situations.

So does being outspoken make you a mean person? Well, no. At least I don’t think so. As insensitive an outspoken individual may seem, at the end of the day, they’re just being honest and like everyone else, they have opinions. Others may think differently, or they could even think the same, or perhaps even think worse. And if so, then they’re just as bad. Because all it takes is a thought to determine what type of person you are, even if you don’t voice those thoughts.

Also, along with my tendency to be frank with others, I guess my humour could also be a contributing factor as to why people may think of me as mean. Ha, look at me writing all this as if it were some book report.

I can be quite sarcastic, and I believe this can be taken the wrong way at times. Then there’s all the jokes, mocks etc. I like to joke around, a lot. But with everything, there’s a time and a place, and well people. Because there are moments where some just simply take things either too seriously, or they just can’t seem to tell whether I’m being serious or not.

The reason why I’m writing this is because (well, aside from the fact that I’m yet to discover a new series to watch at work, as there’s so much down time between calls) I for one don’t even have the slightest intention to be mean, seriously, it isn’t intentional.  I love everyone. Ok, not everyone, but I do try my best to be kind and considerate, y’know all that jazz. But I guess it really just brought to mind how others can have so many different perceptions of you, but that’s all they are. Their thoughts, and their opinions, they don’t define you. You, define you. And whether you choose to believe others and live according to their expectations of their perceptions of you as an individual, that’s entirely up to you.

I am getting to that point where I am beginning to care less about whether people like me or not, whether they think I’m mean or insensitive, or loving and kind. All I know is that I’m trying my best to be a good person, and if at times I make mistakes, or come off as unkind and insensitive, well hey, no one said I was perfect. All that matters is that I’m trying, and I’m trying not for others, but for myself. I know my intentions, and I know being mean on purpose is not one of them.

Unless of course, in the encounter of a rude obnoxious twit in need of a rude awakening. Ahem. *Clears throat.*

So point is, not really sure if there is one, but if there is it would be this:

No matter what people think of you (whether they think you’re mean, or sickeningly sweet or whatever) only pay mind to what you think of you. Because that’s all that matters.

In other words, don’t give two shits about how people perceive you. Just be you, do you and love you.

Did that make sense? I hope it did.

 

QOTD: “Change your thoughts and you change your world”. -Norman Vincent Peale

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#3 Just Ask.

You need help, no you don’t you can do this yourself, fix it felix! I can’t I need help, no wait I’ll figure it out. Ugh, I’m stuck, just ask already girl……….. (glances at co-worker) Fine. – loveligaya’s conscience.

 

Do you ever have those moments where you’re stuck, and you know you need help, yet you refuse to ask for any until you try everything you can, only to realize that you’re a complete idiot for not asking for help sooner?

Yep. This was me about an hour ago. It sort of brought to light how stubborn I can really be sometimes. And yes I did ask for help from my co-worker, he was quite polite about it and it turned out the solution was bloody simple, (like just zoom up kind of simple), but by then I’d already wasted time restarting and trying different things and wasting time. At least I now know what to do.

You’d think that after many instances of not asking for help sooner I’d be quick to ask the next time, unfortunately, that is not the case for me. I’m not sure if it’s the fear of asking, and some may agree that whenever a question comes to mind, or whenever we need help out of a situation, a wall of stubborn pride and fearfulness surrounds you, and all of a sudden you’re too proud to ask because after all,  you’re a capable human being, you’re too stubborn to ask because you’re sure you can figure it out on your own. And you’re just afraid. Afraid of what people will think, afraid the question you want to ask is stupid and that the solution was simple all along, afraid that you are in fact, wrong.

This fear is completely normal. I mean it’s not like I ran statistics or did any particular research, (76% of people within Australasia admit to being afraid to ask for assistance in the workplace) *clears throat*  if you actually read that please note that statistic is utter bullshit (Yes, I lied, but you get the point right?) it’s common among everyone in society. I’m sure there are those who are rather openly inquisitive and direct in asking for assistance, I know a few actually, but can they really say there hasn’t been a time where they’ve been afraid of “asking” a question? Because shit if they can, then kudos to them! But here’s to all us hesitant peasants, who don’t particularly like asking for help or asking questions, don’t worry, you’re not alone. Cue the Michael Jackson track.

Maybe next time you hesitate to ask something, just remember that chances are, that person may or may not have the answer, or at one point had asked the same and that’s okay. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Even if it’s something as small as my problem was or something bigger. It’s better to ask sooner than later, or even if it’s later, still ask. The longer you stall, the more likely your small problem might develop into a crisis. You never know until you try, so it’s better to swallow that pride and break out of that shy shell than be sorry you didn’t ask sooner. After all, it’ll save you time, stress and save you from all the panic that comes with having the need for assistance because of a problem.

There’s no such thing as a dumb question, (said by a teacher of mine in high school, although not sure which one) and though a lot of us may say otherwise, even myself at times, there is truth in this statement. Because you’ll never know the answers or solutions, or receive help if you never simply, ask. Just think of yourself as a student asking for help from a teacher, you need their help when you’re stuck because otherwise, you’ll fail. And failure sucks balls. Might sound a bit cliché, but we can never truly learn and become that wise old owl in future if we never ask questions, or for assistance when we need it. And though I’m not too keen on being a wise old elf, ahem sorry, owl, I’d rather ask for help for future references, that way I’ll know how to handle whichever situation, or know the answer to a question, so when another comes to me with that same dilemma, I’d be on the other end of the stick this time.

 

QOTD: “Even if you fall on your face, you’re still moving forward.” – Victor Klam

 

#2 Slow work days

QOTD: “Son, the greatest trick the Devil pulled was convincing the world there was only one of him.” -David Wong, John Dies at the End.

 

I just really liked the above quote so decided to post it. Look out for all the devils in disguises! Inlcuding me haha

 

 

 

#1 Hello

I’m just going to start off my saying hello. So, hello.

Writing a blog is something I’ve always wanted to do since I was a little girl. Okay, no. But I did want to start blogging ever since I discovered WordPress. Which was maybe 3-4 years ago. The only problem was, I had no clue what I would even write about if I were to start one. A food blog? Fitness blog? Cats? Trees? The mysterious wonders of life? Meh. I couldn’t decide! Or I guess you could say I just did not know what to post.

I mean, still, here I am having written around 100 words or so, with no clear idea where I’m going with this post. In saying that, it’s come to mind that I’ll probably never know what I’m going to post until I do. My blog posts will most likely be sporadic, occurring once I’ve experienced a certain something, witnessed a certain event or even just felt a certain way. And right now, it’s because I’m feeling a certain way, one of which made me decide that today, of all days, where I’m still sitting comfortably warm in my bed at 11.30 in the morning, I would finally post something up.

And there you have it folks! I did it.

Now excuse me while I go make a start on things I was meant to do 3 hours ago… Much like how I intended to post my first blog post 3 years ago, yet here we are.