#4

Here we go, another blog post that makes absolutely no sense, but kind of does, courtesy of a recent conversation I had.

 

I apparently (according to some family and friends of mine) am a bit of a (ahem) mean person. Sure I’ll admit, I do tend to be quite frank with people, but am I really mean? Well I guess those on the outside would have to be the judge of that.

I do understand where their opinion came from by the way.  Apart from my apparently evil eyes, which somehow make me look like an angry bitch all the time (I swear it’s my normal thinking face haha), there have been many instances in which I may have, or well definitely have said things that can be considered as insensitive. I do realise how insensitive I sound afterwards, especially with the look I get from my sister (that “just shut up” look).

 

Honestly, most of these times I’m voicing my opinion and just being quite frank and honest. And that is where I mess up I guess. But then again, I also find myself saying things because I believe that person or those people need to hear it. Is that mean? Well yes I guess it can be, especially if that ends up hurting others. I was told that even if something is true, you shouldn’t say or mention anything if you know it will hurt their feelings.

Yeah well, you can guess what I did now, can’t you?

I do try to be nice, however, stubborn as I am, if I feel something should be said and that it needs to be heard, then rest assure I will speak my mind. I have however learnt to hold my tongue in certain situations because well sometimes, it’s just better not to escalate situations.

So does being outspoken make you a mean person? Well, no. At least I don’t think so. As insensitive an outspoken individual may seem, at the end of the day, they’re just being honest and like everyone else, they have opinions. Others may think differently, or they could even think the same, or perhaps even think worse. And if so, then they’re just as bad. Because all it takes is a thought to determine what type of person you are, even if you don’t voice those thoughts.

Also, along with my tendency to be frank with others, I guess my humour could also be a contributing factor as to why people may think of me as mean. Ha, look at me writing all this as if it were some book report.

I can be quite sarcastic, and I believe this can be taken the wrong way at times. Then there’s all the jokes, mocks etc. I like to joke around, a lot. But with everything, there’s a time and a place, and well people. Because there are moments where some just simply take things either too seriously, or they just can’t seem to tell whether I’m being serious or not.

The reason why I’m writing this is because (well, aside from the fact that I’m yet to discover a new series to watch at work, as there’s so much down time between calls) I for one don’t even have the slightest intention to be mean, seriously, it isn’t intentional.  I love everyone. Ok, not everyone, but I do try my best to be kind and considerate, y’know all that jazz. But I guess it really just brought to mind how others can have so many different perceptions of you, but that’s all they are. Their thoughts, and their opinions, they don’t define you. You, define you. And whether you choose to believe others and live according to their expectations of their perceptions of you as an individual, that’s entirely up to you.

I am getting to that point where I am beginning to care less about whether people like me or not, whether they think I’m mean or insensitive, or loving and kind. All I know is that I’m trying my best to be a good person, and if at times I make mistakes, or come off as unkind and insensitive, well hey, no one said I was perfect. All that matters is that I’m trying, and I’m trying not for others, but for myself. I know my intentions, and I know being mean on purpose is not one of them.

Unless of course, in the encounter of a rude obnoxious twit in need of a rude awakening. Ahem. *Clears throat.*

So point is, not really sure if there is one, but if there is it would be this:

No matter what people think of you (whether they think you’re mean, or sickeningly sweet or whatever) only pay mind to what you think of you. Because that’s all that matters.

In other words, don’t give two shits about how people perceive you. Just be you, do you and love you.

Did that make sense? I hope it did.

 

QOTD: “Change your thoughts and you change your world”. -Norman Vincent Peale